If The Battle Is Between Pit Bull and Lil Wayne, Then We’ve All Lost

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    Lil Wayne publicly hates the Heat. He tosses the F-bomb at King James, like LBJ was Trina or something. He says he banged Mrs. Bosh. One minute I’m looking at Mr. 305 getting jiggy in a Bud Light commercial and the next, he’s doing some twitter-toasting and making battle raps. Uncle Luke? Sorry, he hasn’t been relevant since Michael Cage and his Jheri curl were grabbing 12 boards a game. I hear these old jokers are jetting down to New Orleans next Mardi Gras on the Lear, to set it on Wayne, Baby and dem.

    If so, this is history in the making. The first baller-rapper beef, except Bosh and LBJ are in season, so Pitbull and Geritol Luke are the acting muscle.

    For me, at this point, confusion is setting in. Are these guys kilt-rocking, techno-robotic rap-making, billboard-breaking, fashion-forward sex symbols? Or are they thugged–out, conscientious defenders and ambassadors of home turf?

    Honestly, who the hell knows? So I’m going to break it down (how I see it) in hip-hop’s native tongue:

    Phony Baloney

    By The Gambler

    Lil Wayne rocks beats, but he don’t like the Heat

    Throws a grenade not from the streets, but a villa in Belize

    Then, they expect me—Pit Bull and Uncle Luke—

    To invest in this mess like they’re speaking on truth

    I think these cats sit around partying with models

    With Bosh and Lebron, Wayne, Pit and 50 bottles

    Basking in riches and the way they play puppet

    Making people melt like ice at the bottom of the bucket

    Signing autographs, and man they love it.

    It gets boring at the top when you ain’t stressing nothing. 

    After tokes of that sticky in the VIP

    Dudes start clowning, coming up with a strategy

    To test their pimp-hand under bass that’s boomin’.

    A late game-plan the Broncos defense couldn’t ruin

    I’m assuming. 

    Maybe they really love their city

    So much they’ll take an L like Shyne did for Diddy.

    But it’s hard to believe these guys are that saucy

    It’s an all-hands-on-deck media orgy. 

    And how can we get caught up in that slumber. When dudes like Dell’s son is given video numbers.

    Last I checked, Pit Bull ain’t part-owner of Wade’s team

    And Luke ain’t been hot since Barkley was on Dr. J’s team.

    Going hard, to make us believe

    They’re peeved at a rapper who gets so high he smokes Jesus’ weed

    A 40-ounce ago, rappers beefed over real riffs

    And peeled more caps than an Indian spear rip.

    I’m confused as Isaac Hayes in a marshmallow maze

    These got to be the last days when ish like this gets play. 

     

     

    JR Gamble joined The Shadow League in 2012. The General Manager of Content & Social Media is in his 25th year of covering sports and culture professionally. He has covered a wide variety of major sports and entertainment topics across different mediums, including radio, newspapers, magazines and national TV. His passion is baseball, the culturing of baseball and preserving and documenting the historically-impactful accomplishments and contributions of African-Americans in baseball.