I Love Football, I Hate Fantasy Football



Here we are heading into Week 3 of the NFL season, and I haven’t set my fantasy football roster yet. It’s only Friday you say, I still have time right? No, I mean I haven’t set my fantasy football roster the entire season! I have fantasies about women, money, and Waffle House, not football.

So why am I playing in a Fantasy football league if I hate it? Because my friends needed an extra person. I didn’t even draft my team. The one thing I do love about fantasy football is the goodness from Heaven that is “auto-draft”, whoever the best player on the board is… young auto draft is going to snatch them up!

I have a team loaded with money makers,

Matthew Stafford, Jamaal Charles, C.J. Spiller, Vincent Jackson, Mike Wallace, Antonio Gates, Chris Johnson, Packers defense, Sebastian Janokowski, David Wilson, James Jones, Cecil Shorts, Greg Jennings, Miles Austin, Ben Roethlisberger and Kenny Britt.    

Right now, I’m 1-1 and haven’t lifted a finger. Maybe if I win this league my feelings about fantasy football will change. Until then, I can’t stand fantasy football because it takes too much work to be good. I’ve heard many people say it only takes a few minutes to set your roster each week. Those people suck, and I hope they aren’t playing in any money leagues. There is no way it takes just “a few minutes” to set your roster, try an hour or two that’s if you want to be good.

Most leagues have 13 players and a defense. You’ve got to study their competition also, and for me that’s 13 players and 15 defenses in total that I have to study before I confidently set my roster. Hell, if I spend one minute on each, that’s at least 28 minutes and that’s far from “just a few minutes”. Realistically, I’d spend 5 minutes on each which brings me to 140 minutes, which is 2 hours and 20 minutes. I can watch a full length feature film and still be “average” setting my fantasy football roster because 5 minutes is the bare minimum.

Look, I’m lazy. I’m lucky enough to have kind souls pay me money in return for my digital thoughts on football, which ferment on the internets everywhere. If I could get paid to just watch games and keep those thoughts to myself, I would.  Fantasy football takes up way too much time, and I’m definitely not spending 2 plus hours each week on it. Hey, if you like it, I love it…just not for myself.